In a short space of two weeks, two of my closest friends both lost their mothers. It was hard seeing them cry over a video call and not being able to be there with them, to hug them, to be their shoulder to cry on, to wipe their tears. I found myself really thinking about death these last couple of weeks, and I thought, what if my mom is next? I started thinking of all the lives that have been lost due to the pandemic, incurable diseases, famine, AIDS, accidents……… and I asked God, why, why do people have to die? Why do we feel pain, why do You take away someone you had given to us?
Amidst all of these thoughts, one reverberated the loudest, one of my friends,hurt by the pain brought about by the pandemic on various people, once asked me, “How can you believe in a God that lets people die and suffer?” Well I do believe in God….. why?
Because He saw me in a place where I felt alone, unwanted and worthless. He brought me out of the muck and dirt and made me as white as snow. I believe in God because, even though I sometimes cry, He always provides me with various reasons to smile. I believe in God, because in a world were nothing is reliable or constant, He never changes and He is Reliable and constant. I believe in Him because I’ve seen His work, He made me, you, nature, the universe. I believe in Him because I have felt His presence, in those moments when I thought I was alone, those moments when I’m scared, In those moments I am losing my will to go on but He gives me the strength to overcome. I believe in God because I only found true LOVE,joy and peace in Him. I tried to do life alone and strayed, but He still left the 99 to come and find me.
Being a Christian was never promised to be an easy path. Actually it’s the opposite, the One whom we follow , Christ, lived a life full of persecution and was even killed because of the gospel he taught. But he persevered and died on that cross, why? Because He loves you and I. He saw the glory and happiness beyond the pain he felt on the cross, he saw you and I marveling in the presence of the Father, He saw us singing “Holy, Holy” before the throne of God, He saw us with him in heaven, and that was worth every drop of blood he shed on the cross.
We go through painful things, things that we don’t like, things that might even threaten to break us. But God isn’t a stranger to pain, and never think that he is a stranger to yours either. He sees you, and He knows what you are going through. The pain, the anxiety, the stress, the depression, the addiction, the mourning, the helplessness, He knows you and what you are going through. His love and grace are made perfect in weakness. We don’t have to go through things alone, because we won’t survive without Him, when we are weak, He provides us with strength to persevere.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know Who God IS and my belief in Him will never be shaken. Things may change, loved ones may pass on, but He remains constant. The Lord gives and takes away every joy and every pain. So I might not know the reason behind everything that happens and will happen, BUT I TRUST IN THE ONE WHO DOES.
With love and faith~ Tanatswa ❤️~